Religion, generally, grips my shit. But organised religion and cultism packs the crap in REAL tight.
For the definitive CRAZY, nutjob, wacky, fucked-up, nonsensical, useless jism-stain of a "religion" let's not overlook Scientology.
Sooooooo utterly ludicrous it almost makes Christianity look normal.
This video may not be around too long on Defamer. Scientology have already persuaded YouTube to remove it, and have apparently threatened legal action against others broadcasting it online. It appears they must be frightened of their own words and actions?
Tom "the cult" Cruise once looked like a total jerk in his underpants dancing to Bob Seger. Compared to this disastrous rambling bollocks however, "Risky Business" should have won him a handful of Academy Awards.
Can't wait for the next movie Tom
No, Wait
Hmmmm......seems like I can?!!
Organised Religion
State of the Union Address
Yep, I was right. Shit-gripping.
This is no more than a pre-election party political broadcast on behalf of the Republicans.
The elephants are bobbing up and down like a whore's undercrackers.
Sickening.
The Shite House Pt II
Tonight is Precedent Bush's final State of the Union address.
He hasn't opened his mouth to utter a single word yet, but I already know the deceiving little turd is, somehow, going to grip my shit.
Newsweek
So, I sign up for up a pretty good deal to subscribe to Newsweek for four years in advance.
Despite spending almost all my weekdays on the internet and reading news stories from all over the world, I still like supporting "old fashioned" print-media.
Besides which, reading a laptop on the toilet seems awkward.
Last week, I received my very first issue of the FOUR-year subscription. Cool enough.
However, this week, before I have even received the second issue, I get a "special savings opportunity" from them to extend my subscription for another year.
Now, that is just VERY poor and mindless marketing on Newsweek's behalf. It makes me feel they care FAR more about getting money from me than writing a good story.
I thought by committing myself to 4 years - in what is an uncertain publishing world - I was actually doing them a favour? Seems as if that is not nearly enough these days and you will be harassed for cash all the way through the subscription period?
If that IS the case - and they continue to hound - I'll tell them to stuff their magazine up their collective arses and ask for a full refund of unmailed copies, because this kind of thing just grips my shit. And I'd like it to grip theirs.
American TV
Look, we're NOT all 12 years old OK?
Censorship on TV really grips my shit, specifically when so-called 'bad words' like "shit", "piss" and (oooooh, here a really bad one) "goddamn" are bleeped out.
Even out of grown-up shows being broadcast into the wee small hours of the night/morning.
Why IS it that just because a few parents can't police their own children properly we all have to treated like imbeciles? Even protected from apparent horrors like someone flipping the bird at the camera or someone's ass cleavage?!
Sure, let's not show a couple fucking in a movie, but make sure we do show shooting, graphic violence and killings on "Cop"-like reality shows. Suuuuuuuure, that makes good sense.
I think the commandments included "thou shalt not kill" NOT "thou shalt not fuck" so why are pandering to the possibility someone might get offended when their religion (and you know this is about religion) actually condemns the thing that isn't banned?!
At least - like most civilised countries, including the whole of Europe - have a watershed, say after 9pm - when kids (if parents have ANY fucking common sense) should NOT be watching, and where a much more relaxed attitude is adopted.
I'm sure people won't be expecting say The Disney Channel to show an unexpurgated version of "Beverly Hills Cop", but at least this would give the grown-up channels a chance to be, oh, I don't know... maybe fucking "grown-up"??
Roe vs Wade
All those sad Roe vs Wade dissenters really grip my shit
What a sad bunch of righteous old tossers, trying to overturn a law that was passed 35 years ago to gave women the right to having an abortion.
These christian hypocrites couldn't and wouldn't look after all the unwanted pregnancies if the law was overturned, and if it was, this country would be sent back to the fucking dark ages and would become an even bigger laughing stock in the eyes of the rest of the civilised world.
Not content with harassing pro-choice followers, setting fire to Planned Parenthood offices and/or intimidating the staff who work there, plus frightening young kids by showing them bloody pictures of aborted fetuses, these retarded morons are now trying to advocate that "birth control is another form of murder". Basically, it would seem, they just want all their kids to be cocksuckers or rugmunchers.
People having belief in something is one thing, but when you try and FORCE your beliefs on everyone else and attempt to overturn a cohesive common-sense law, that's interference from the church - exactly one of the reasons the founding fathers chose to specifically "separate church and state"
I urge all teenage daughters of blinkered right wing christian fundamentalist couples to try and get laid - and get pregnant - this weekend. Let's find out how many of your families will stand by you regardless of whether you have the baby or have it aborted. Let's get more of these shit-gripping hypocrites out in the open where we can see them and shame them back.
Politics I
Politicians running for President are really beginning to grip my shit.
The elections are 10 months away and I'm already feeling the poop being squeezed.
Seems instead of talking about what they can do & what they can offer when they get into power, candidates prefer to spend most of their time waffling about what their opponents can't do or said wrong.
Which is a shame as I have some respect for a few of these guys and gals, but not if they're going to start acting like spoiled little turdwranglers. That makes them no better than our current commander-in-thief.
Airline Surcharges II
I've laughed so hard it gripped my shit
This posting of mine on Jan 12th spoke of a $50 round-trip fuel surcharge being introduced by Delta & US Airways. I commented on how fake it was to be described as a 'surcharge'.
On Jan 15th Delta and US rescinded the surcharge saying they, in fact, wanted to remain "competitive" with other airlines who had not introduced the surcharge.
Good news.
Good news only until Jan 17th, when American and Delta Airlines introduced a new $40 surcharge, a fee instantly mirrored just one day later by United and Continental.
Of course, there's absolutely NO collusion whatsoever between these primary carriers. It's a mere quirky coincidence that they all thought of their price increases (which is what this actually represents, albeit one shrouded outside the airlines 'advertised prices') within 24 hours of one another.
I'm sure they'll spin this as consumers being ten bucks better off than $40 to the poorer.
The Seminole School Board
The Seminole School Board - responsible for yesterday's shit-gripper about McDonalds being allowed to advertise on student's school report cards - have managed to outdo themselves once again.
Not content with allowing MickeyD's to promote it's craptastic food as some kind of bizarre "reward" for good grades, the School Board has now inked a deal with Bus Radio to allow a 'special" radio program be broadcast to pupils as they get driven to school!
Bus Radio was given the nod to broadcast a mix of listener-specific rock music, FCAT lessons and - most importantly for the School board I suspect - advertisements on 53 schoolbuses (almost 5000 students) during a trial run lasting the rest of 2008.
If district officials decide it is a success, they say they'll allow the company put its radios in the district’s entire fleet of buses.
As the scheme will doubtless give the Seminole School Board more money - and that's all they seem to care about (taking into consideration this farce and the previous McD's fiasco), success appears somewhat pre-guaranteed, wouldn't you say?
Board officials suggest the radio program "will keep students busy so drivers can concentrate on the road". What a total crock of gripped-shit.
This has sweet fanny adams to do with the driver's concentration and zero to do with whatever the students might learn with FCAT. It is no more than 'mutton dressed as lamb' 100% commercial venture to financially benefit the (evidently fucked up) School Board by advertising to a 'built-in' - or trapped - audience of impressionable teens. It's so insidious and so evidently about nothing but MONEY, that this entire School Board need to be fucking ousted as soon as possible.
McDonalds
In a new low for the fast food giant McDonalds, the company has started advertising on schoolchildren's report cards.
This mindless behavious grips my shit
Not content with probably contributing to America's (and the world's) "obesity issues" for the past couple of decades or more, it is now hawking itself on report cards, going so far as to offering items from its unhealthy menu as "rewards" for good grades!!
Un-be-fucking-lievable!
Fannie Mae / Freddie Mac
Firstly, there should NEVER be a mortgage guarantee company called "Fannie Mae" because that just sounds like some kind of sexual promise.
As if that isn't deceptive enough, check out the latest news regarding Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac mortgages.
In a nutshell, borrowers of these kinds of mortgages are going to be socked with extra fees (starting at $250 per $100k loaned, and dependent on your credit score) to compensate FM & FM for the "risks inherent in lending money in an era when house prices are declining".
So, in addition to charging, often, exorbitant interest rates for their loans, the FMs are now clobbering new mortgagees with fees to cover their poor prime and sub-prime lending in the last couple of years.
Whilst I admit individuals should be held responsible for their own actions and not borrow more than they can afford to repay, the mortgage companies should also be regarded equally culpable for lending money to risky propositions in the first place. Socking new borrowers to somehow pay for existing borrowers - and all to shore up the bottom line - is a truly appalling business model. At least Dick Turpin wore a fucking mask.
Of course, the biggest shit-gripper in all of this is that there, plainly, NEEDS to be FAR more regulation in the financial/lending industry here in the USA. Similar to that of Europe and most other civilised nations. Predatory lending will always happen IF it's allowed to happen.
Dumb Advertising
When a company advertises in big bold letters
"50% Off EVERYTHING"
but then qualifies their offer by adding (in small letters)
"Some Items May be Excluded"
that kinda grips my shit, and it - along with thousands of other deceptive business practises - should be outlawed.
Starbucks
Like doubtless hundreds of thousands of other people I was given a Starbucks gift card for Christmas.
In my case, specifically so I could regularly 'get my fix' at the local Starbucks located inside a Barnes & Noble bookstore.
Starbucks? Starfucks more like. I couldn't use my gift card there because "we are not a corporate Starbucks location"
If it says Starbucks on the fucking counter and all the cups have Starbucks printed on them, the shelf tags say Starbucks, and even the baristas wear those black Starbucks pinnies, then... it's.a.fucking.Starbucks. O.K.?
What a total bunch of shot of coffee shit (for gripping)
Airline Surcharges
United Airlines (united in what exactly? price gouging?) have just announced that they are increasing their "fuel surcharge" to $50 for a round trip domestic fight.
Every other airline, including my "favorite", Delta, will line up like sheep to emulate this move.
United - and the others - will continue to advertise their deceptive "low cost fares" because, unlike Europe, it is still legal to to promote a price BEFORE all airport taxes and surcharges have been added. (Washington lobbyists will doubtless ensure the alternative will never go into force, heavens forbid we should be told the REAL price when we try and book a flight?!)
The FACT that the fuel surcharge was introduced to cover "sudden fluctuations" in the cost of oil doesn't seem to be considered. The fuel surcharge has never gone down when the cost of oil has gone down, it has only gone up every time the airlines think they need a little more cash in their coffers.
Fuel/Oil is an operating cost, one which you already make a profit from in your seat pricing you assholes. Passing off your operating costs as a 'surcharge' - allowing you to advertise "low cost flights" - just makes you seem like shit-gripping scumbags. Just so you know.
The TSA
Seems as if the TSA (Transportation Security Administration) has managed to outdo itself, now detaining a 5-year old boy because - and I am not making this up - his name matched that of someone on the infamous "no-fly" list of potential terrorists and known criminals. Homeland Security really is Clueless Fuckhead Central isn't it?
I have always viewed the TSA as no more than a "bureaucratics dream" and very much a case of popping oversized locks on the stable door loooooooong after the horse had succesfully bolted (and flown a couple of planes into the WTC)
Of course Bush managed to undermine the TSA anyway, initially promising that it would always be a strictly government-owned organisation, then quietly flogging it off to the private sector thus compromising its integrity.
I don't have a problem with airline security as a protective concept, but the TSA simply goes too far, infusing all their employees with the "inhuman" gene, wherein they treat everyone coming through the gates as guilty criminals rather than innocent travelers. Their employees' utter lack of any personality is the reason flyers hate them as much as they do the other inconveniences of removing shoes, belts, clothing, etc just to walk onto an airliner. To arrest and detain a 5-year old is just one example of their "got a job to do" inflexible bullshit at work.
It's almost as if Dubya's Washington wants to control the people by making it difficult for us to leave, enter or move about the USA? As with a lot of other things in the past 7 years or so, it's no more than politics using fear, and yes, it grips my shit.
The Pentagon
Surely if this war in Iraq was a real war (rather than one to perpetuate the 'industrial machine' and subsequently fill Halliburton's pockets) the Pentagon wouldn't treat the soldiers fighting there with such disregard?
Soldiers who are discharged early because of injuries sustained in Iraq have been asked by the Pentagon to repay whatever entitlement bonuses they received for signing up to fight.
Additionally, the longest serving National Guard unit - who were proudly serving their country - were finally sent home after 729 days of combat. 729 days being just one day short of the 730 that the soldiers needed to fully qualify for educational benefits from the Pentagon.
Lets not forget the 20,000+ soldiers who have been denied medical benefits because the post-tramatic stress they suffered upon returning from Iraq has been blamed on "pre-existing personality disorders"
The Pentagoons really grip my shit
Blogger
OK, Blogger has REALLY gripped my shit today.
I wanted to set up a separate blog, catering to an entirely different set of readers than this diatribal nonsense.
"Add a Blog" the blogger dashboard said.
So, I added a blog name - perfectly matching a domain I had just that minute proudly registered - then set up the "about me" and some of the other necessary elements, ready to do my first introductory post later next week.
I return to this blog and discover........ wo-aaaaahhhhh! ..... the "about me" I had written for the other blog was included on this one.
A quick check of the blogger forums helped me to discover that "new blogger" is indeed a grippable piece of shit, and you are no longer allowed to have two separate blog identities attached to the same e-mail address.
So, I deleted the newly set up blog, registered again with a different g-mail account, only to then discover that...... I can't get the blogspot name I want - remember, the one that matches the domain name? - because, presumably, Blogger's bucket of wank systems are being told it is "already in use".
Well done Blogger and Google. Nice way to piss off your users. Looks like Blogger is very much the wave of the past and it's time to shift this all my blog stuff to a service that understands the needs of its users.
updated: thanks to the kindness of a fellow user on the blogger message boards I was able to rectify the problem. That doesn't mean it wasn't still an unnecessary shit-gripping hassle. This and/or the other blog may well have to head somewhere else in the future
This little dude on the toilet was created by lego artist