Alan H Fishman

Alan H Fishman was appointed CEO of banking giant Washington Mutual on September 8th 2008.

On September 25th Washington Mutual was purchased by JP Morgan & Co.

This followed a 2-week run on WaMu's deposits, during which customers withdrew $16.7 billion. A move which forced the FDIC to find a buyer so as to avoid draining their insurance funds (All deposits up to $100k in a recognised US financial organisation are insured by the FDIC) in the event of the bank going 'bang'

Alan H Fishman was appointed with a $7.5million sign-on bonus.

17 days later he was "let go" with a cash severance package totaling $11.6 million

Think about this utter shit-gripper as the financial markets implode and you sit at the breakfast table wondering where your next mortgage payment is coming from or why you've just been charged $35 for that bounced check.

FDA & BPA

A month or so ago, shit-gripping scientists at the Food & Drug (Mis-)Administration (FDA) announced that the public "needn't be concerned" about the plastics chemical Bisphenol-A (BPA).

These scientists concluded that even though 90% of Americans now have BPA permanently in their urine, the exposure levels are, apparently, "not dangerous".

However, a NEW - and independent - evaluation by British epidemiologist Dr David Melzer disagrees with those (potentially lobbyist-controlled) conclusions.

Dr Melzer tested the BPA levels in almost 1500 adults and compared them to their health histories. His results show that high BPA levels can be linked to an increased risk for both heart disease and type 2 diabetes.

Previous studies on animals have shown that BPA can disrupt hormone balance and can cause infertility, behavioural disorders and cancer.

BPA is used in plastic and metal food packaging, plastic baby bottles, drink bottles, Tupperware, plastic food wrap and all recyclable plastic with the numeral "7" printed on it. It is widely used in packaged foods.

Should we trust an independent evaluation or should we trust a money-influenced government organisation whose credibility is questionable at best? Hmmmm.......

The Bush Administration's Bailout Bill

Not only does the US Government bailout of financial giants Lehman Brothers (and others) make a mockery of the supposed "free market" concept, it highlights the lengths to which Bush and his cronies will protect themselves whilst simultaneously shitting in the mouth of democracy.

Tucked into the corners of shit-gripper Bush's bailout bill is the following clause:-

Decisions by the Secretary pursuant to the authority of this Act are non-reviewable and committed to agency discretion, and may not be reviewed by any court of law or any administrative agency.

So, let's quietly steal this money from the taxpayers, fill the pockets of the already wealthy, then allow NO court in the land to even question what the fuck is going on.

Nice work if you can scam it George.

Sarah Palin

Oh, come ON people... how could I NOT get my shit gripped by this utterly fake weather girl?

• She boasted to the world that she sold the Alaska state governor's jet on eBay for a profit.

Sarah Palin, shit gripper, ACTUALLY sold it for a $600,000 LOSS to.... well, wouldn't you know it?.... to a Sarah Palin campaign contributor!

• She boasted that she told Congress "Thanks but no thanks on the Bridge to Nowhere".

Sarah Palin, shit-gripper, ACTUALLY supported the project initially, only reversing her stance after she had received $223 million in federal funds... which she then blew on other equally unnecessary projects throughout the state.

• She boasted to the world that she "championed reform to end the abuses of earmark spending by Congress".

Sarah Palin, shit-gripper, as mayor of Wasilla, ACTUALLY employed a Jack Abramoff-connected lobbyist who successfully secured $27 million for "pork" in the town, the equivalent of more than $4000 per resident.

Oh, and as Governor, Sarah Palin, shit-gripper, has requested $453 million in earmarks, seven times the national average.

• John McCain told the world that he had found a running mate who "stopped government from wasting money"

Sarah Palin, shit-gripper, as mayor of Wasilla, ACTUALLY wasted $15 million (from an overall city budget of just $20 million) on a hockey arena whose construction was delayed because she hadn't bothered to properly finalize the purchase of the land on which it was to be built. This then forced taxpayers to pay out more than six times what the land was originally agreed to be sold for, and the city having to seize it under eminent domain.

• She stated that she was an "enemy of taxes", that "taxes were too high" and that Barack Obama "wants to raise them"

Sarah Palin, shit-gripper, ACTUALLY - as a result of the hockey arena fiasco mentioned above - RAISED sales tax by 25% to pay for the shortfall caused by her maladministration.

Oh, and Alaska currently collects the MOST taxes per resident of ANY state in the country.

• During her GOP convention speech she stated that she has "protected the taxpayers by vetoing wasteful spending"

Sarah Palin, shit gripper, as governor of Alaska, sought travel reimbursement for over 300 nights away. 300+ nights she ACTUALLY spent in her own home!

• Also, let us not forget that Sarah Palin, shit-gripper, tried to have Wasilla's town librarian fired after unsuccessfully trying to persuade her to remove/censor books which Palin found personally objectionable.

• Or that Sarah Palin, shit-gripper, preaches abstinence - rather than proper sex education - something which her daughter, Bristol, obviously took no notice of.

• Or that Sarah Palin, shit-gripper, believes dinosaurs roamed the earth 4000 years ago and is something of a bible-thumping religious nutcase who also thinks "God" wants America to drill for more oil in Alaska.

• Or that Sarah Palin, shit-gripper, is so eagerly "pro-life" that she wants to stop women having abortions even when those women have been raped, battered or abused at the point of conception.

• Or that Sarah Palin, shit-gripper, is so hypocritical about "pro-life" that she approves of the death sentence.

I could literally bang on for hours about how unsuitable this woman is for cleaning my toilet, let alone how she should never be allowed to have a say in how America is run.

Federal Government

The American public filed nearly 22 MILLION Freedom of Information requests with the federal government in 2007.

Only 1 in 3 requests was granted.

Seems as if you can't even discover the truth behind what's gripping your shit anymore?

Republicans in Macomb County

James Carabelli, the chairman of the Republican Party in Macomb County, Michigan is planning to block people from voting in the upcoming election if their homes are in foreclosure.

He told the Michigan Messenger “We will have a list of foreclosed homes and will make sure people aren’t voting from those addresses”

However, a foreclosure notice is hardly PROOF that a resident no longer lives at an address, as many stay in their homes whilst negotiating and/or refinancing the mortgage.

If proof is needed for anything, let's state that Michigan is recognised as a key swing state for November.

Let's also state that majority of households who have defaulted on their loans - and thus could be prevented from casting their ballot on November 4th - are African-American families.... who are overwhelmingly Democratic voters.

Whilst the Republicans are saying they want to avoid voter fraud, they themselves can easily be accused of voter suppression.

It looks like the shit-gripping GOP is gearing itself up to, again, STEAL the election. Just like they did in Florida in 2000 and Ohio in 2004.

Charles B Rangel

Congressman Charles B Rangel failed to report over $75,000 of rental income from a villa he owned in the Dominican Republic.

Congressman Charles B Rangel is Chairman of the House Ways and Means Committee... which writes the Federal tax code.

He claims he did not realise he had to declare the money as income, whilst his lawyer comments that "it would be inaccurate to infer that the congressman was trying to conceal a highly lucrative investment"

Surely the fact that it was "highly lucrative" was the very reason he tried to conceal the income?

Rangel refuses to resign his position - even as hugely embarrassing as his actions are to the Democratic Party ahead of the November elections. His statement of "I really don't believe that making mistakes means you have to give up your career", merely underlines his shit-gripping indifference to, and ignorance of, the very tax payers he is supposed to be representing.

Wal-Mart

In what is being contested as an illegal act, it appears Wal-Mart's latest attempt to control America is to tell its staff how to vote in the upcoming Presidential election.

The New York Times reported that Wal-Mart Stores Inc have been warning their senior managers that if the Democrats gain power in November, Barack Obama will "change federal law to make it easier for workers to unionize companies"

By "companies" they mean "Wal-Mart" obviously

Store managers and department heads were summoned to mandatory meetings around the country where bosses stressed the impact if the Republicans lost the election.

A meeting leader in Missouri is quoted as saying "I am not telling you how to vote, but if the Democrats win, this bill will pass and you won't have a vote on whether you want a union"

Yeah, god forbid workers in the USA should get any rights. Un-be-shit-grippingly-believable.

An aside

Oh, please don't think things haven't been gripping my shit lately because they most certainly have!

However, I must apologize for the lack of shit-grippable entries.

Currently a shortage of available time to get here and write as often as I would like is.... well.... is gripping my shit!

Normal service - if such a thing even exists in the blogosphere? - will resume very shortly.

Promise